I have approximately 1,243 chickens that need to be transported, i began my journey with my mini van but just was not working out, too many trips and too much shit and feathers, and with no ac it makes it very difficult when constantly tempted to roll the windows down, and because doing it all by hand i have lost 1 out of 4 chickens with my first 3 trips. if you have reasonable transportation for this chicken operation plz let me know. thank you.
-Matt
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/1290743016.html
Posted in Gigs, Jobs.
Tagged with Chicken.
By admin
November 19, 2009
Dear Neighbor,
Why do you insist upon mowing your fucking lawn at 8 AM? At least once a week I wake up to hear your lawnmower revving away right outside my fucking window. Your whole lawn is shaded by your house and that huge tree, so I have to hear you stall the thing at least 12 times. Here’s an idea…. WAIT UNTIL YOUR FUCKING LAWN IS DRY BEFORE YOU MOW IT!!!!!!!!! I get home from work at 4 AM only to awaken hours later to the sound of a weedwacker coming from next door. Closing the windows doesn’t help. Putting the pillow over my head doesn’t work. You could probably hear your mower in space.
Your lawn looks like ass anyway. Why even mow the damn thing? The potted plants you bought in May are still sitting, unplanted of course, in their original resting place, which appears to be a framed horseshoe pit in the center of your yard. There are a couple of oversized, azure synthetic drums out there that accent the always stylish, black rubber indoor/outdoor mats that tastefully adorn your back porch. For the love of God! The place looks like it belongs in Gummo. The only thing missing is a trailer, four screaming brats, a car up on cinder blocks and a couple mangy animals. If I had enough Round-Up, I would turn the thing into a sandlot myself to save you the trouble when you finally come to your senses and make the switch.
I can’t stand you. I can’t stand your lawnmower. I can’t stand your shitty old man tattoo that looks like a vulture from afar. I can’t stand the way you push around your stalling lawnmower over your wet grass while wearing Jack Daniels pajama pants at 8 in the morning. The last thing I need to see after four hours of sleep is some random old guy next door mowing his lawn without underwear.
I detest you. If I had a dog, I would let it into your lawn to shit.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/alt/1315255760.html
Posted in Uncategorized.
By admin
November 18, 2009
Had a rat problems and solved it by using the rat poison. The rats died somewhere in my bedroom wall and I can’t find it but I can smell it it is not too good. I need some body who has experience finding where in wall the dead rats is and then taking them out it without breaking the walls. Maybe some guy who is poor they are more likely to have experience with the rats. Im not really able to pay too much for this would treat you to McDonald’s it is close to my home. Besides, this is good experience for you if you are in the business. I would be willing to tell all your other customers what a great job you did with my rat. You could give them my cell number and as soon as my phone gets turned back on it would be like you have free advertising. I dispertly need some guys help right away cause my girlfriend won’t sleep over anymore till I get rid of the smell and cleanup other things around my home and get a job soon. She used to go out with my brother and Im scared she will go back with him cause he don’t have rats in his house. Dont worry if I dont answer you right away cause Im using my friends computer I dont have one. Give me your number and ill call you back and tell you where the house is. Thanks.
- Location: Milwaukee
- it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
- Compensation: no pay
Date: 2009-09-09, 12:33AM CDT
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/mil/1365314322.html
Posted in Gigs, Jobs.
Tagged with dead rat, Rat, rat control, rat extermination.
By admin
November 16, 2009
Attention college kids – ever need to bring your drunk roommate home or simply want to mess with him by relocating him to another part of the dorm/frat house/apartment complex/campus so he doesn’t know where he is when he wakes up? And have you ever had a hard time doing so because he’s just a bunch of dead weight, or you don’t want to get vomited upon? HERES THE SOLUTION.
This is a cheap, old, crappy wheelchair. Its not horribly comfortable to sit in, but would make a good drunk transport. Its so inexpensive, in fact, that when you graduate, you can just leave it behind for those who follow after you!
other uses for this wheelchair?
* play hallway bowling
* move other heavy things besides your drunken roommates
* improve your balance by only using the ‘big wheels’
* invent ‘extreme wheelchairing’
* garbage bag tearing? just use the wheelchair!
* pretend you got hit by a car and try to get ’sympathy sex’
* stand on it to change all of the lightbulbs in the hallway without stepping down
* practice being old
These and a variety of other wonderful uses await you for just ten little dollars!!! Email today!
(i am not responsible for any injuries you may sustain or inflict by either jackassing around on this wheelchair or by its misuse, including, but not limited to: transporting drunk roommates, inventing ‘extreme wheelchairing’, standing on it for any reason, and/or practicing your balance.)
Posted in For Sale.
Tagged with drunk, for sale, roommate, Services, Transport, Wheelchair.
By admin
October 20, 2009
My dear friends, 
Somewhat embarrassing to admit, but Christmas is tight this year.
I will be making bedroom slippers for you all as gifts. Please let me know your sizes. You’ll most likely agree that it’s a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same, I’ve included the instructions below. How to make bedroom slippers:
You need four maxi pads to make a pair.
Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.
The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.
Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.
Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers (this is most aesthetically appealing), etc.
These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.
I’ve attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself….
Awaiting your response. It’s crucial that I get the right size for each one of you. So please hurry I need to start them as soon as possible.
Date: 2008-12-19, 6:24PM PST
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/van/964529724.html
Posted in Announcements, For Sale.
Tagged with Christmas, gifts, presents, Shopping, slippers.
By admin
October 19, 2009
Should buff out however if you aren’t the buffing type, probably best to bring a flatbed.
Posted in For Sale.
Tagged with bmw, bmw m3, car, car for sale.
By admin
October 18, 2009
Trestles: Boring wooden A-frame support structures, right? WRONG! More like support structures for exciting people!!!
Most people think trestles are only good for a table or desk. Well guess what? MOST PEOPLE ARE WRONG!!!
1. Imagine Shawn Johnson’s chagrin when you bring home gold at the 2012 Olympics – simply from practicing the parallel bars on two trestles!!!
2. Or think about the awesome forts you (or your kids) will make. Teatime with Big Bear and the gang will never be the same!!!
3. Did someone say strength training? Get rock solid abs in 30 days with the 2-trestle Xtreme Workout!!!
4. Company coming over for the weekend? Give them a very uncomfortable and potentially dangerous sleeping arrangement: two trestles and a mattress!!! (I don’t actually recommend doing this.)
TRUE STORY: These trestles supported my desk when I went to school. I graduated with honours. Coincidence? I DON’T THINK SO!!!
Slap boredom in the face with a pair of trestles and make your life exciting!!! $50 for 2!!!
YOU: “Wait a minute, doesn’t Ikea sell them for $30 each? That would be $65.40 (tax incl.) for 2. That’s not much of a deal.”
ME: “Sure, but now you don’t have to go to Ikea!!! You can even take them home on the bus!!! And you just read a really entertaining advertisement!!! Or make me a better offer!!!”
Date: 2009-04-25, 6:11PM PDT
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1140298129.html
Posted in For Sale.
Tagged with 2012 Summer Olympics, craigslist, Gold, IKEA, Strength training, trestles.
By admin
October 17, 2009
Girlfriend said she is tired of my mustang parts and I need to make a craigslist ad…so here is it
for sale
1 nagging dream smashing man hater
make an offer or look in the free section if she keeps it up and gets kicked to the curb
Date: 2009-05-10, 9:37PM EDT
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/jax/1164383626.html
Posted in For Sale.
Tagged with Ford, Mustang, Vehicles.
By admin
October 16, 2009
Hey boys – ’tis the season for lawn mowing and new love. These are the only two things missing in my life.
First order of the business: the lawn. Our small front lawn, and largish back lawn have grown out of control after all the rain we have had as of late. It’s about 1.5 feet tall, and growing taller by the second. We are four lovely ladies lacking a lawn mower. This is where you come in.
Second order of business: you and me. I’m a sexy young 20 something lady offering a date (my treat) in exchange for a mowed lawn. We will also offer homemade baked goods to sweeten the deal.
However this lawn may be more than you can handle alone. For this reason, my sultry single roommate has graciously agreed to offer the same deal for your friend who helps you out with the task. Let’s go on a double date! You are also welcome to mow the lawn on your own, and pick a lucky friend to come on the date.
Who knows, maybe one date could turn into two (lawn mowing optional *wink wink*)
Serious inquiries only, we need this lawn mowed, BYOLawnMower!!!
No photos of your weedwhacker please.
Date: 2009-05-20, 10:45PM PDT
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1181466826.html
Posted in Uncategorized.
Tagged with craigslist, Dating, double date, job, Landscaping, lawn, lawn mow, mowing.
By admin
October 15, 2009
Real nice yard swing for sell. Real comfrotable. Might have a few dog hairs on it but they will brush right off. Green all-wheather cover beside fence is included
Tikee torch not included but will sale for 25.00.
funny craigslist yard swing
Posted in For Sale.
Tagged with craigslist, swing, yard swing.
By admin
October 14, 2009
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